April 9, 2019
Guilt and shame
Guilt and Shame are emotions. We need emotion. We are humans. Guilt and Shame are associated with fear. The fear of rejection, the fear of not belonging, the fear of depriving someone or being deprived, the fear of cheating or being cheated by the person we love drives this feeling of guilt and shame.
The need for accountability is strong in humans. Guilt is a personal self-conscious emotion generated from the individual’s thoughts, words, and deeds. Whenever we realize that we knowingly deprived someone who did not deserve deprivation, we feel that we have done something wrong and somehow yearn to have it corrected and this is “guilt” in action.
Shame on the other hand is a self-inflicted emotion. Shame is wake up call. Shame erases vanity. Shame makes an individual focus on himself as a failure (in public). Shame diminishes a person’s self-esteem towards others. Through guilt and shame the spiritual leader was able to build his group of followers.
Why do children feel ashamed? Why do they sometimes feel uncomfortable to step up and be recognized? Why are some children more sheepish than others? These behaviors are developed behaviors during the formative years of the child. It is true that there are children who are not as aggressive or as outgoing as others. But this has nothing to do with negative feelings or behaviors that a child has developed. Lack of discipline and education or too much of both can create these negative behavior. A child must grow with love, prudence, respect, kindness, gratitude, apology and forgiveness.