Category: Virtues & Principles


Being Nice Opens Opportunities

Being Nice Opens Opportunities

We talk and preach about how love conquers all and that it can solve all problems. That love will bring peace and goodwill to us all. But before love can work, we have to be NICE.

Love is instinctive. So what is the first positive thing that we should teach our children? Let us teach them to be nice. Instinctively a child craves for the mother’s care and attention. A mother in turn loves and cares for the child. As the child grows and begins to meddle in everything that arouses curiosity, a mother begins the lessons of discipline.

Do not start your discipline with denial as most parents do. The stern No, No, No will indeed develop discipline, but it will also foster negativeness. Instead use a soft tone in your voice and say “be nice”, this will always create better results. A child then learns the positive way towards discipline.

When a child grabs something that he/she is not supposed to, don’t spank the hand. Instead hold it and lead it away and nicely give the reason why. You can say NO in a soft and firm voice so as not to instill fear in the child. You may think that a child can’t understand, but they understand your tone of voice.

It is unfortunate that many children learn the negativity before positivity.
This negativity is carried over to adulthood. That is why there are so many bullies out there who would insult, make fun of and deprive others, and we have to deal with them. We can deal with them with prudence. Can’t be prudent if you are not nice. Prudence gives the bully a chance to change his/her mind and be nice.

Do not be confused with “turning the other cheek” for being nice. “Turning the other cheek” is being tolerant. And continued tolerance is cowardice. When ignoring, prudence and being nice fails, then an attitude adjustment is in order.

Try to be nice everyday. Being nice opens the door to respect and kindness. Being nice makes it easier to be polite. Being nice allows you to smile more often. A smile has a tendency to dampen anger and it helps brighten the day.

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Security: Protecting oneself and family. Method of guarding our community, its assets and equity. Protection from predators, from plunderers, from thieves, from bullies and those who deprive. Protection from natural disasters. Security guarantees survival. There is no security in weakness. Security sustains prosperity.

Our basic right to Security ranks up there with sustenance, shelter and propagation. During simple times when weapons of mass destruction and guns were not yet invented, it was with pride that every household possessed weapons; weapons that can defend, keep the peace, commit crime or whatever the user may want his weapon to be used for. As civilization prospered and got more sophisticated, governance decided to control the number and types of weapons possessed by their citizens. .

Government became in charge of security and the responsibility for securing the peace in the community became the responsibility of the government. This is a good thing because security guarantees survival. There is no security in weakness. The moment the borders become weak, intruders will immediately trespass and deprive. Security sustains prosperity.

However, government does not want the citizens to possess lethal weapons. So rules and laws were created to justify this demand from the government. When crimes were committed with the use of lethal weapons, the argument for the disarmament of the citizens became stronger. Laws and rules and the enforcement thereof where always based on the criminal actions of the few demented people who are bullies and do not value respect and kindness. Violence always begets violence. There is always retaliation. The reaction of the government is always the same: “disarmament”. But this is not the answer. The answer is in the behavior of humans

We need to embrace respect and kindness. Parents must teach this. The school system must teach this. Government must embrace this. Security is the right of every individual. It is not an inherent government right, it is an inherent individual human right. It must never be taken away from him.

Those who want to stay in power and simply want others to practice tolerance, always insist on the transparency of security. Transparency destroys security. The strength of security relies on privacy and secrecy.

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Do not Cheat. Do not Insult. Love but never deprive, share and be balanced and you will be ENLIGHTENED.

Love is the ultimate miracle word. It is the “cure-all”. This leads to inner peace and enlightenment. This is a very elusive goal.

Love is instinctive. Every soul embraces love. However, instinctive love is limited. Rarely does it go beyond self, a friend, a loved one or family.

Love for others (strangers, country, the environment, and the universe) is learned. It is philosophically embraced by most people but rarely acted upon.

All over the world, you will hear great leaders, guardians, parents, pastors, priests, imams and wise-men preach about the fear of God, about love, about tolerance and about kindness to attain peace. For thousands of years this same “routine” is laid out at homes, places of worship and institutions of learning. But the “routine” of preaching love, tolerance and kindness hasn’t achieved the desired “peace on earth and goodwill to men”.

Love is still the ultimate key. But as explained previously, instinctive love is limited. Guiding instinctive love towards universal love is a must but so few are taking the correct path towards it. The switch must be made universally. Start by teaching respect and emphasize on the GIVING of respect rather than on expecting respect or teaching that respect must be earned. From this juncture work towards kindness, universal love and enlightenment.

The greatest force that keeps us in darkness is cheating. We lie. Then we begin to believe in our own lies. The first step to enlightenment is to stop lying to ourselves. By accepting our past, we accept the truth. Learn from the past(truth), this will allow us to know and respect ourselves and bring us closer to enlightenment. The enlightened person has inner peace. He is at peace with the universe.

The power of the universe can be tapped by every man through Qi (Chi or Ki). Train and prepare yourselves not to be “accepted” but to be as one with the universe. Live your eternal life (corporeal and spiritual), love, share, prosper and be happy.

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Listen. Quietly listening can work wonders. Listen to the person who wants to be forgiven. Learn to accept an apology without bitterness. Forgiveness opens the path to better and meaningful communication. Learn to apologize and then to forgive yourself. Give yourself a chance to improve and be a better person.

When an individual deprives another or himself and in the process hurts himself or the other person, retribution is usually sought after by the person who is hurt. Retribution is not only outwards, it can also be inwards. People hurt themselves because of guilt. However, retribution can be averted through forgiveness via atonement or repentance for the violation(s) committed.

The law of the universe listens to “apology” and our ability to forgive. Our inability to apologize or forgive will only create the same results for our actions.

The inability to forgive is caused by disconnection. Be wary of those who seek forgiveness through empty apologies or those who apologize but aren’t willing to be accountable. Also be wary of those who preach forgiveness to be the responsibility of the offended. Remembering the offense without anger is the key. But that is not forgiveness. It is an act of prudence. It is healthy. It allows the victim to move on without the burden of anger and hate. Remember, forgiveness can only be possible through apology and atonement.

“Add-ons and comments”:

From a reader on Facebook:
“However part of forgiveness is that one cannot be around that person anymore. Or the forgiveness becomes foolishness. “

“There are exceptions. You or Your loved one can make a foolish mistake that will hurt each other and break you apart. Apology and Forgiveness most of the time will patch things up and make a stronger bond. The scar or patch will remain as a reminder of your mistake. “

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Responsible Prosperity

Prosperity comes with work, determination and focus to follow you goals, hopes and dreams. Hope is inherent in all of us. You can beat a person down but if he has a shred of hope in him, he will stand up and fight. Hope, with a hint of any possibility of success can help lead a person to prosperity.

Share your prosperity, share your abundance, share your knowledge, share your acquisitions and most of all share the love that is in your heart. Prosperity is threefold: Material prosperity, Intellectual prosperity, and spiritual prosperity. The acquisition of material and intellectual prosperity does not guarantee you happiness. Reaching for spiritual prosperity touches happiness, it touches love.

For humanity to prosper, we must share, we must be involved. Humans are born selfish! Parents and Adults must teach children to share, about respect and how to be nice. As you chip away at your “rock of selfishness”, sharing becomes easier. Conversations and relationships become less & less difficult.

As you prosper through life you must exercise prudence and responsible ways to attain your wealth and prosperity. There is no need to deprive others in order for you to succeed. Negotiation is a two way street. Being responsible means that it is your obligation to make sure that both parties are satisfied. Always keep in mind principle #1(prudence).

Rewards seldom come immediately but you must stay focused, focus will determine your reality. You will always hear sayings about what money can’t get for you. Undeniably that is true. But nothing in this world can be accomplished without funding or trade. Dying for a cause or being a martyr may not cost you any money but promoting the martyrdom definitely will. Without anybody promoting what you died for means that you will soon be forgotten. 😭

The quest for prosperity does not mean the love of money. Without money(funding), the religion of Islam will be defunct. Without money Mohammad couldn’t have gathered his people around him. Christianity would be in the same boat. Even Jesus Christ needed funding to feed his followers. The same is true with all other religions.

Money (FUNDING) allows us to trade. It allows us to SURVIVE and make our dreams (goals) come true. People with wealth, health, education and influence can achieve their goals. Do not put down the rich just because you are jealous. Learn from them. Not be like them. Be yourself. So, go out there and make money. Don’t be a leach. However, when you do go for the money, never Deprive, Insult or Cheat. When you have prospered and have abundance, please SHARE and always LOVE your family and be HAPPY. In our quest for prosperity we need to be responsible with charity and compassion in our demeanor.

In order to prosper we first need to survive. Survival is our basic instinct. To survive we the creatures of God need the basics of: Sustenance, Shelter, Energy, Unity, Propagation, Security, Exploration, Healthcare, Education, Pleasure, Leadership and Communication. Acquire your basic needs to prosper, but always with responsibility and accountability.

The development of technology allows us to manipulate science for the advancements towards prosperity of humanity but more often than not, at the sacrifice of mother earth. The growing knowledge of science and technology is meant to help in the salvation of God’s creation and not simply for the prosperity of humanity.

In times of prosperity and happiness, man doesn’t even have second thoughts about the “woes” of life. So always have compassion in your heart and share your prosperity. God’s plan is simple. He created us. We are to take this gift of Life and live to be prosperous and happy, to love and to share our abundance and be accountable for our thoughts, words, and deeds.

When prosperity goes beyond the individual, and it sits in the hands of corporations and government, responsibility and accountability tends to be redefined for convenience. Governments and business entities have the same obligation to satisfy the needs of their citizens and or customers. They have the social responsibility to care for the environment and humanity while maintaining prosperity.

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We will be accountable or answerable for all our thoughts, words, and deeds. Don’t be a bully. Teach the children to give respect and not simply to expect it. Teach them not to cheat, not to insult and not to deprive.

When at fault, learn to apologize. An apology can melt a heart of stone. While in this world, there are rules and laws that demand to be followed. Your obligation or responsibility becomes your covenant.  Disobedience of the rules and laws and your failure to comply with your covenant can lead to severe consequences or accountability.

Accountability is not simply for our corporeal life. We will also be accountable in the after life. Accountability does not simply apply to the negatives that we have done, it is also for the positive things in our life. Your good thoughts, words and deeds will be rewarded. Anytime you follow, lead or forge the path for the positive, good things will always happen to you.

How can I be accountable for my thoughts? I am not harming anyone, you conclude. I am just thinking about it, you say. Your random thoughts will eventually lead to a firmly held opinion or conviction. It becomes your belief, your cornerstone, your advocacy or your faith. These are the thoughts that you will be accountable for. Our accountability for our thoughts words and deeds are continuous. It did not stop and to be continued on to a later date for a judgement day. No. God never left us.

Through the generations and in many cultures there are sayings of “you reap what you sow”, “Karma”, “what goes around, comes around”.
The path we take here in this universe will be the path to our spiritual state.

Every moment through your journey in life, you create paths of “to and from”. Every time you reach for something (positive or negative), you create a permanent path or bridge back you. The Positive or Negative may travel those same paths that you have created in your life in either way.

When you come across an unavoidable situation, use prudence to work around it. If it requires inaction, then refrain but if you must act then do so rather than live to regret about it.

To hold someone accountable requires prudence whether it is for the accountability of what is good or bad. The law of the universe listens to “apology” and to our ability to forgive. Our inability to apologize or forgive will only create the same results for our actions. These are all about accountability.

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What a great way to calm down an angry person. Apologize for your mistakes. Make your apology and mean it, without any “buts” in your sentence. Do not make excuses. Learn to apologize sincerely. Apologize even to the child that you just took for granted.

If after your apology the person still complains and wants to talk, just listen or apologize again. But never ever say, “but I already apologized”. Because that simply confirms your insincerity.

Apology is a great exercise in humility. It is difficult to apologize when you are vain. An apology shreds vanity. An apology helps you “own” your mistakes. An apology helps you learn from your mistakes.

Do you think that confession or repentance will automatically lead you to forgiveness? You can internally feel sorry, repent or feel total remorse for your thoughts, words, or deeds but unless you atone or externalize this to the one you have deprived, insulted or cheated, who are you fooling?

What if none of those who were offended or violated are around or to be found? Then make your amends by being kind to humanity or to the universe in their honor. There must always be ACCOUNTABILITY.

NOTE: Print a PDF copy of this post.

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Appreciate what you have and never take others for granted. When someone gives you a helping hand or when someone is kind to you, be grateful. If you are having a great day and you are happy, be grateful.

Expression of gratitude may seem common and sometimes uttered almost automatically. These are the hollow “thank yous”. True gratitude is the reciprocation of kindness. However, it is not prudent to expect reciprocation for your kindness. When you give or when you are being compassionate, kind or generous, do not ever expect reciprocation. God knows your good deeds.

Kindness does not come with a covenant. It is a one-way street. It comes from your heart. Be grateful but never expect others to be grateful towards you. Do not expect gratitude from others. It is an uncomfortable feeling, knowing that your generosity or kindness is not being reciprocated with gratitude, while you are always grateful for the generosities that you receive.

Smile inwardly. This is when you let positive thinking overcome the negative. Disappointment comes to those who EXPECT reciprocation and gratitude, because vanity always expects a compliment or reward. Vanity thrives on praises, applause, and reciprocation.

Apologize for your inconsistencies or failures but do not ever fail to thank the other person for tolerating you or for being patient with you.

At meal time quietly pray and give thanks 3 times. First to God, second to the person providing the food, third to the people who grew or produced the food. Always be grateful for your life.

When you were simply trying to survive, people were kind to you. Be grateful. When you were trying to build security around you, people were kind to you. Be grateful. When you were building your prosperity, people were kind to you. Be grateful.

Never fail to say thank you. Learn how to make people feel good. Be grateful now, rather than feel the sorrow or regret that you never took the opportunity to say “THANK YOU”.

If you want to thank God for your health and prosperity; thank him by helping yourself become better, thank him by helping others and sharing your love, knowledge, abundance and prosperity.

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Share your prosperity, share your abundance, share your knowledge, share your acquisitions and most of all share the love that is in your heart. Be kind. Kindness allows us to reach out. Kindness is a great way to communicate. Try to be helpful. Try to do a something good for yourself and others. Be compassionate. Try not to tease or insult others. Share your abundance and be generous whenever possible.

Prosperity comes with work, you need focus and determination to follow and realize your goals, hopes and dreams. Hope is inherent in all of us. You can beat a person down but if he has a shred of hope in him, he will stand up and fight. Hope can lead a person to prosperity.

Prosperity is threefold: Material prosperity, Intellectual prosperity, and spiritual prosperity. The acquisition of material and intellectual prosperity does not guarantee us happiness. Reaching for spiritual prosperity touches happiness, it touches love. For humanity to prosper, we must share, we must be involved. Humans are born selfish! Parents and Adults must teach children to share. As you chip away at your “rock of selfishness”, sharing becomes easier. Conversations and relationships become less & less difficult.

Develop what you can but with the attitude of sustainable development for posterity. Harvest the bounty of the world but always let nature return to its living splendor. You are the steward of your body and soul and of this universe. Develop your body, your mind and soul. But never deprive others or this universe in the process of your development. Having the ability to SHARE embedded in our soul: Makes us: generous, kind, helpful, merciful, compassionate, amiable and tender. Be compassionate and try to alleviate the needy, the suffering, the sorrow and misfortune of others. Sharing makes the universe a better place. Learn to share the cheapest and most abundant human positive commodity, the SMILE.

A smile is irresistible, compelling, persuasive, contagious, and catching. A simple smile can change the life of an individual to help build a kinder and braver universe to fight evil.

Be generous, kind and helpful but never let this be under pressure or coercion from others. Let this come from your heart. Generosity or being helpful must not be a result of an incentive to being rewarded for the “good deed” or to gain “brownie points“. It must not come from bribery to be reciprocated. Give with and from the goodness of your heart without expecting reciprocation or credit. Giving as a result of guilt without atonement is simply a way “buying” personal satisfaction or simply giving for the sake of vanity.

If we have LOVE and RESPECT in our hearts and we are willing to SHARE that love and respect, the good will always triumph over evil.

Note: Do not mistake “lending” for kindness.  The money (object) wasn’t given to you. It was loaned. Kindness was not involved. A contract was involved. You have the obligation to pay back. 

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Prudence: The skill, ability, or wisdom to avoid conflict and choose what is right and what is good or beneficial to humanity.

Be cordial. When you approach, communicate, talk to or listen to an individual you do not like, use good judgment and discipline yourself to use reason vs emotion. Do not be judgmental.

Be sensitive to the feelings of children.  Your tone of voice will make or break them. Be nice.

Your judgment may dictate that the individual you are conversing or dealing with is totally disagreeable, offensive, vile and revolting yet you need to rise above all that negative emotion and use reason to be gracious, hospitable, warm and friendly.

Diplomacy requires prudence. Be attentive and listen more to what others are saying or just simply talking about. Always speak the truth, but avoid excessive deliberations, otherwise folly will be your company. You can’t be diplomatic without being prudent. Being prudent however, does not imply that one has to be submissive to the bully or evil.

Never discourage anyone from doing anything that is not detrimental or harmful to anyone. Along the way while doing these activities although mundane and possibly unproductive to the observer, a person may learn something good.

“Everyday this woman throws her dirty water in the same place and makes a muddy area. While just a few feet away there are plants withering. Was she doing something bad? No!
A farmer came along and guided the woman into throwing her dirty water on the plants, thereby watering the plants. Now she benefits from the harvest.”

Guidance and not Criticism.

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