What a great way to calm down an angry person. Apologize for your mistakes. Make your apology and mean it, without any “buts” in your sentence. Do not make excuses. Learn to apologize sincerely. Apologize even to the child that you just took for granted.
If after your apology the person still complains and wants to talk, just listen or apologize again. But never ever say, “but I already apologized”. Because that simply confirms your insincerity.
Apology is a great exercise in humility. It is difficult to apologize when you are vain. An apology shreds vanity. An apology helps you “own” your mistakes. An apology helps you learn from your mistakes.
Do you think that an apology, a confession or repentance will automatically lead you to forgiveness? You can internally feel sorry, repent or feel total remorse for your thoughts, words, or deeds but unless you atone or externalize this to the one you have offended, deprived, insulted or cheated, who are you fooling? When you say, “it’s in God’s hands” or “I asked for God’s forgiveness”, you are simply making an excuse to escape accountability. Apology or repentance without atonement is empty.
What if none of those who were offended or violated are around or to be found? Then make your amends by being kind to humanity or to the universe in their honor. If you make an apology or say that you are sorry and truly mean it, you must be held accountable. There must always be ACCOUNTABILITY.
What if none of the offended are willing to forgive and move on? Yes, there are people who can hold grudges to their death and may even pass it on to the next generation. Well, that is their choice. They haven’t learned the goodness of prudence.