Principles of Universal Stewardship
CARE | OPENNESS | RESPECT | UNDERSTANDING | PRUDENCE | KINDNESS | GRATITUDE | APOLOGY | FORGIVENESS | RESPONSIBLE PROSPERITY | ACCOUNTABILITY

Forgiveness is one of the Principles of Universal Stewardship.

Remembering the offense without hatred is the key. However, it’s important to note that this act is not forgiveness but an act of prudence. It can be seen as an opportunity given to the offender to rectify their actions, and you can choose to label it as you see fit. Ultimately, it involves granting the offender the possibility of making amends.

Society today defines forgiveness in this way: “A process of letting go of negative emotions, cultivating compassion and understanding, and finding inner peace. Allowing coexistence despite of differences.”

This definition is not forgiveness. It is simply an act of “tolerance,” of “moving on” or simply “letting go.”

It is prudent to be patient with the ignorant who offends you. It is healthy. It allows the victim to move on without the burden of hate. However, do not mistake tolerance, moving on, or letting go for forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness can only be possible through apology and atonement.

It is ok NOT to forgive if the offender refuses to sincerely apologize and offer atonement or to make it right. But for the sake of your health (physical, mental, and spiritual), it is wise to be patient without hate or holding a grudge. Holding grudges builds bitterness and hatred, and they all feed on each other. However, this does not mean that you have to forget the offense; on the contrary, you should remember and learn from it. Learn from the cruelty of the past to be better and not bitter.

Never ever mistake forgiveness or being patient for tolerance. Patience carries the ingredient of love, whereas tolerance does not. Patience assumes a connection; tolerance does not.

But what if the opposite occurs? What if the offender sincerely apologizes, offers atonement, and does everything possible to make it right—yet the victim refuses to forgive and continues to hold a grudge?

In such a case, the responsibility shifts. The one who has apologized must now guard their own integrity. If they truly value the relationship, they may continue trying—but they must understand the law of diminishing returns. Endless attempts in the face of rejection can slowly erode self-worth and create psychological harm. Repeated denial, no matter how deserved the original offense may have been, can become its own form of damage.

At this crossroads, two paths emerge.

First, the person may accept that forgiveness will not come. In doing so, they release themselves from guilt, knowing they have done their part with sincerity and accountability. They forgive themselves, carry forward the lesson, and move on in peace without resentment.

Second, if they choose to continue seeking reconciliation, they must do so without self-punishment. They must let go of the need for a guaranteed outcome and instead embrace the effort as an act of love, not obligation. They no longer demand forgiveness—they accept only the possibility of it. In that acceptance, they find peace, because their actions are no longer driven by guilt, but by genuine care.

In both paths, the principle remains the same: do not allow the absence of forgiveness—whether given or received—to destroy your inner balance. Learn, act with sincerity, and preserve your integrity.

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It is always good to forgive, but do not dwell on the idea of forgiveness. It has a tendency of giving an individual a sense of “holier than thou” attitude. Instead, focus on being nice, kind, respectful, and grateful. Do not focus on the idea of forgiveness; instead, think about why you feel the way you do. Why are you hurt? Is it a mental or emotional pain? Is it about your dignity? Were you physically abused? Most of the time, the answer is not forgiveness but rather understanding why things happened the way they did. From there, your answer (solution) will be crystal clear. When you understand, the healing process can begin. Forgiveness alone does not heal. Knowing the “why” starts the healing process. You begin to understand the pain, anger, and hate. Wisdom grows.

Listen quietly. Listening can work wonders. Listen to the person who wants to be forgiven. Learn to accept the apology with atonement without bitterness. Forgiveness opens the path to a better and more meaningful communication. Learn to apologize and then forgive yourself. Give yourself a chance to improve, build self-respect, and be a better person.

When an individual maliciously deprives another or himself and in the process hurts himself or the other person, retribution is usually sought by the person who is hurt. Retribution is not only outwards; it can also be inwards. People hurt themselves because of guilt. However, retribution can be averted through forgiveness via atonement or repentance for the violation(s) committed. KINDNESS is the best form of atonement.

The law of the universe listens to “apology” and our ability to forgive. Our inability to apologize or forgive will only create the same results for our actions. We are emotional creatures, and anger is one of our strongest instinctive defense mechanisms. Anger can be controlled, but when left to fester, it can grow to become hatred. Anger passes, but hatred lasts a lifetime.

It is easier to forgive an outburst of anger when later followed with a sincere apology. More often than not, the outburst of anger had no attachment to hatred. It was but a negative reaction to some words or actions. The uncontrolled manifestation of anger is the problem in our society.

The inability to forgive is caused by disconnection. Be wary of those who seek forgiveness through empty apologies or those who apologize but aren’t willing to be accountable.

If someone, particularly a “holy man,” asserts that “forgiveness is better than vengeance,” they are only partially correct. Similarly, if they advocate forgiving your enemies without causing them harm, they are only partially correct as well. In fact, they may be misleading you. It is important to be cautious of those who place the burden of forgiveness solely on the offended party. These individuals preach forgiveness even in the absence of remorse from the wrongdoer. They often promote tolerance towards intentional and consciously harmful words and actions. Their preaching of tolerance serves as a means to exert control over others. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, they enable malevolent individuals and contribute to the presence of evil in society. Forgiving a malicious offender without requiring atonement is essentially aiding them, conveying that their actions are acceptable and permitting them to repeat the offense if they choose to do so.

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Inherited Evil: A Path to Forgiveness Through Belonging

Christianity, holds the belief that evil or sin is inherited by humanity, rather than being solely a result of individual malicious acts. This inherited state, often referred to as Original Sin, means all individuals are born into a condition of spiritual brokenness or separation from the divine.

According to this view, the path to forgiveness for this inherited evil isn’t personal apology or individual atonement. Instead, it’s predicated on a supreme sacrifice or act of atonement already performed by their chosen deity (e.g., Jesus Christ in Christianity). For the individual, receiving this forgiveness then primarily involves belonging to the religion or its specific community. By simply becoming a part of the designated group, the inherited sin is considered forgiven, and the individual is deemed spiritually clean.

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Forgiveness is not a reward for belief. It is the fruit of change.

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“Add-ons and comments”:

From a reader on Facebook:
“However, part of forgiveness is that one cannot be around that person anymore. Or the forgiveness becomes foolishness.”

Answer:
“There are exceptions. You or Your loved one can make a foolish mistake that will hurt each other and break you apart. Apology and Forgiveness most of the time will patch things up and make a stronger bond. The scar or patch will remain as a reminder of your mistake.”